so since i'm feeling slightly nostalgic this evening let's look back upon this year:
2011 the year of:
-failing finals
-studying my ass off
-for the first time in my life thinking of myself as stupid
-the enormous gratification of passing
-making the greatest friends i've ever had
-losing one of those friends painfully
-going off to the Phillipines (one of the greatest adventures of my life)
-the absence of the violin
-visiting Forbidden Planet for the first time
-rearranging my room so my bed lies in the middle (i'm sure that's against some kind of feng shui)
-being made badminton captain
-realising exactly how difficult being a captain is
-auditioning and getting a part in the BLAS show
-realising perhaps i have a decent voice
-getting a part in the absurd play 'The Trial'
-realising perhaps drama is part of my past, and acting just isn't in me
-looking back on my times at Secondary school with much fondness
-the sadness that accompanies noticing your old school friends growing apart from you
-the freedom that accompanies being 19
-Paris with the Picalilis
-the struggle of flat hunting
-reading reading reading as always
-going to a real life drawing class for the first time, luckily the model was quite cute
-the odd sensation that occurs when it is discovered that i am narrating my life in my head
-being happily single
-family always comes first. always
-the solitude and independency i am currently experiencing at the end of the year 2011
What a year it has been. I think i have grown, evolved and changed. I have learned a great deal. Hopefully i am progressing down the right path to understanding and acceptance. Thank you 2011, only 2 more days of you left
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Friday, 16 December 2011
never fails to cheer me up
'gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode. (dis so
sad btw mak u cry). she sed 'bbz wil u luv me 4evr' he said 'NO...' da
gurl cried n ran across da rode b4 da green man came on da sine. she got
hit by a car. boy was cryin and went 2 pic up her body. she was ded. he
wispered 2 her corpse 'i ment 2 sey i wil luv u FIVE-evr...' (dat mean
he luv her mor dan 4evr...) like if dis made u cry'
Gleek at uni
Hell yeah i got into the Glee group at uni! I'm soooo very excited :D
Now i just need to meet a straight Blaine (Darren Criss = as close as you could probably get to the perfect guy)
and i know that sounds a bit boy crazy- but this time it's for a very good reason. promise :D
Anyway Glee totally rocks! :D
Now i just need to meet a straight Blaine (Darren Criss = as close as you could probably get to the perfect guy)
and i know that sounds a bit boy crazy- but this time it's for a very good reason. promise :D
Anyway Glee totally rocks! :D
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Monday, 12 December 2011
Men and women cannot truly be friends
I've spent 19 years of my life being a firm believer (one of the few things i firmly believed) that boys and girls could be good friends. Everything doesn't always have to come down to attraction and sex.
However looking back over every single friendship i've had with a guy, begs to differ.
Breaks my heart to say it- but it seems like 50% of the population is off limits as possible genuine, mutual, two-way, etc friendships.
Unless the guy is gay of course.
So there we have it. Might as well stop trying. Growing up is such fun.
However looking back over every single friendship i've had with a guy, begs to differ.
Breaks my heart to say it- but it seems like 50% of the population is off limits as possible genuine, mutual, two-way, etc friendships.
Unless the guy is gay of course.
So there we have it. Might as well stop trying. Growing up is such fun.
note
The following phrases are not particularly helpful when feeling stressed:
-Calm down
-Chill out
-Slap af (danish btw)
-Stop being crap
-Easy now
-Steady on
-Just relax
-It'll be fine
-You're doing your best, so don't feel bad
-Don't worry
-Don't be so tense
-This is what you look like *and then a re-enactment of what you did*
So refraining from saying/ doing the aforementioned would be greatly appreciated.
That is all.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Friday, 9 December 2011
Exercising the Spiritual Muscle
I watched a few clips from a webseries by Oprah Winfrey- it features Eckhart Tolle (the spiritual guy i've mentioned before). In the clips of the video i watched they discuss the Ego. Now the ego Eckhart talks about is different to the conventional ego (being arrogant) most people might use. When Eckhart talks about the ego he means- the part of a person that feels the need to identify with things, people, places, opinions, whatever.
So for example, buying a designer bag because it makes you feel superior to others- because it in some way adds to your perceived selfworth- that is your ego.
But that is only one example to explain it- i find it quite difficult to fully express all the dimensions of it in summary form (Eckhart explains it in about 2 chapters- but i shan't post the entire thing here, lol)
See there is a lot of that kind of stuff in his books- it seems straightforward in principle, but it is very tricky to apply and fully understand.
Realisations
So these are some "aha" moments (Oprah also calls them 'lightbulb' moments) i had whilst watching today.
-It is not possible for other people to hurt me. They are just offering their observations- and i am giving them meaning.
-Stop being dependent on love and approval - in a way that is identification by other people's opinion.
-Another person's criticism isn't necessarily bad or wrong. But it is important not to take it offensively- a criticism is simply their take of you from the story of their lives.
-Love should not be a trade- true love is unconditional
The last comment especially resonated with me due to recent events in my life. Following on from the 'Elation of Separation' post i did, i have realised that love (in all its beautiful forms) is only true if it is unconditional. So what the other party believes or does, should not be able to sway how much you love them.
So for example, buying a designer bag because it makes you feel superior to others- because it in some way adds to your perceived selfworth- that is your ego.
But that is only one example to explain it- i find it quite difficult to fully express all the dimensions of it in summary form (Eckhart explains it in about 2 chapters- but i shan't post the entire thing here, lol)
"The realm of consciousness is much vaster than thought can grasp.
When you no longer believe everything you think, you step out of thought and see clearly that the thinker is not who you are.
-Echkart Tolle
See there is a lot of that kind of stuff in his books- it seems straightforward in principle, but it is very tricky to apply and fully understand.
Realisations
So these are some "aha" moments (Oprah also calls them 'lightbulb' moments) i had whilst watching today.
-It is not possible for other people to hurt me. They are just offering their observations- and i am giving them meaning.
-Stop being dependent on love and approval - in a way that is identification by other people's opinion.
-Another person's criticism isn't necessarily bad or wrong. But it is important not to take it offensively- a criticism is simply their take of you from the story of their lives.
-Love should not be a trade- true love is unconditional
The last comment especially resonated with me due to recent events in my life. Following on from the 'Elation of Separation' post i did, i have realised that love (in all its beautiful forms) is only true if it is unconditional. So what the other party believes or does, should not be able to sway how much you love them.
"In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow or open, alert attention toward the other person in which there is no wanting whatsoever... The ego always either wants something, or if it believes there is nothing to get from the other, it is in a state of utter indifference: It doesn't care about you."
-Echkart Tolle, A New Earth (pg 84)
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Simply Sondheim
Looks like it's going to be another night of Sondheim. Gotta love the classics! <3
(also who can resist Raul Esparza- he's magical)
(also who can resist Raul Esparza- he's magical)
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
What is the purpose of religion?
Religion has absolutely been puzzling me lately.
First of all, there are so many different religions- and with it accompanies a whole history of vast populations of people believing so strongly in their religion- that they are willing to lay down their lives (in whatever way) for it.
Problem number one: they can't all be right- which means that either everyone is wrong, or a very few people are right and the rest of the world's population is wrong.
Problem number two: how can we know for sure which one is right?
I was raised Catholic (so i have fundamentally Christian beliefs inbuilt- however i don't think that stops me from being objective about the religion. I am a pretty openminded person afterall.) Then my secondary school years were primarily occupied by strong minded Atheists and Christians debating the debacle that is "Does God really exist?". Currently i attend a university that is dominated by students of the Islamic faith. Perhaps the influence by opinionated people of different belief systems has caused me to doubt myself.
Now i sit here, 19 years old, realising that i don't know a whole lot about my supposed religion.
I can see how religion can influence the course of your life- so i think it is imperative that i find out exactly what i believe.
Originally i thought if i was determined enough i would find out which religion was true. But the more i've looked into it, i see that evidence for or against each religion consists primarily of people's views. Nothing more concrete than a person's opinion (in addition to some historical figures, events and artifacts to back this up). Can i really put my whole belief of what i perceive to be the truth of the universe on the words of what another person has said? How am i to choose which person to believe?
I have no idea. I shall update you all when i figure it out, if i ever do.
First of all, there are so many different religions- and with it accompanies a whole history of vast populations of people believing so strongly in their religion- that they are willing to lay down their lives (in whatever way) for it.
Problem number one: they can't all be right- which means that either everyone is wrong, or a very few people are right and the rest of the world's population is wrong.
Problem number two: how can we know for sure which one is right?
I was raised Catholic (so i have fundamentally Christian beliefs inbuilt- however i don't think that stops me from being objective about the religion. I am a pretty openminded person afterall.) Then my secondary school years were primarily occupied by strong minded Atheists and Christians debating the debacle that is "Does God really exist?". Currently i attend a university that is dominated by students of the Islamic faith. Perhaps the influence by opinionated people of different belief systems has caused me to doubt myself.
Now i sit here, 19 years old, realising that i don't know a whole lot about my supposed religion.
I can see how religion can influence the course of your life- so i think it is imperative that i find out exactly what i believe.
Originally i thought if i was determined enough i would find out which religion was true. But the more i've looked into it, i see that evidence for or against each religion consists primarily of people's views. Nothing more concrete than a person's opinion (in addition to some historical figures, events and artifacts to back this up). Can i really put my whole belief of what i perceive to be the truth of the universe on the words of what another person has said? How am i to choose which person to believe?
I have no idea. I shall update you all when i figure it out, if i ever do.
Inside Job
A film by Charles Ferguson, it explores how and why the 2008 financial crisis occured. It was on tv- just finished watching it 25 minutes ago, and i must say it was eyeopening.
I am struck by how this was allowed to happen in today's society and baffled by why the people who were evidently to blame for the crisis still remain in powerful positions in Obama's government. It is (as said in the movie) a Wall Street government.
The style of the documentary-esque film was impressive too. Using just facts and figures and direct quotations from the perpetrators' mouth to execute their actions. It's a thoughtprovoking and engaging watch. Before watching it, i had a very limited knowledge as to the reasons for the 2008 crash, it was pretty educational actually!
I am struck by how this was allowed to happen in today's society and baffled by why the people who were evidently to blame for the crisis still remain in powerful positions in Obama's government. It is (as said in the movie) a Wall Street government.
The style of the documentary-esque film was impressive too. Using just facts and figures and direct quotations from the perpetrators' mouth to execute their actions. It's a thoughtprovoking and engaging watch. Before watching it, i had a very limited knowledge as to the reasons for the 2008 crash, it was pretty educational actually!
"Why should a financial engineer be paid four times to a hundred times
more than a real engineer? A real engineer builds bridges; a financial
engineer builds dreams. And you know, when those dreams turn out to be
nightmares, other people pay for it."
-Andrew Sheng, chief advisor to the China Banking Regulatory Commission
Lady Gaga's Marry the Night
What's not to love? It's unique, different and ridiculously catchy. Gaga has done it again!
Warning: watching the video may induce strange state of cereal cravings
(note: all pictures have been sourced- clicking on them redirects you to their original webpage)
The Elation of Separation
Time heals most things it seems. Probably because it allows you to reflect and review upon the past and come to terms with it in a way that is difficult when you are amidst the chaos.
It is easy to become attached to things, places, people that are part of our everyday lives.
So when that thing breaks, you move away from that place, or that person changes and is no longer part of your life- you suddenly find yourself struggling. Surprisingly so.
The emotions experienced over a short timeline are vast and extreme.
-Blame
-Annoyance
-Regret
-Hurt
-Anger
-Confusion
-Understanding
-Peace
-Joy
-Freedom
and at last the Elation of Separation is reached.
I feel a lot more independent and in control of my life. I don't think i've properly felt like this since my college years. Attempting not to sound too corny, it does seem as if everything happens for a reason.Which is quite reassuring really.
It is easy to become attached to things, places, people that are part of our everyday lives.
So when that thing breaks, you move away from that place, or that person changes and is no longer part of your life- you suddenly find yourself struggling. Surprisingly so.
The emotions experienced over a short timeline are vast and extreme.
-Blame
-Annoyance
-Regret
-Hurt
-Anger
-Confusion
-Understanding
-Peace
-Joy
-Freedom
and at last the Elation of Separation is reached.
I feel a lot more independent and in control of my life. I don't think i've properly felt like this since my college years. Attempting not to sound too corny, it does seem as if everything happens for a reason.Which is quite reassuring really.
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