Trying to understand, grasp and apply everything he says has proven... tricky
For example, today i lost a badminton match 4-5. We should've won- but sadly we didn't
Afterwards i immediately thought of how much of a shame it was that we didn't win and i got frustrated with myself and my fellow team. I blamed myself for being a bad captain and perhaps not playing as well as i should've. I blamed my team for not being commited enough, players dropping out last minute and losing some easy matches.
Playing the blame game.
Shoulda Woulda Coulda.
I have realised (with the help of Eckhart) that ultimately trying to alter the past by thinking up alternative ways i could've responded is hopeless if it is used merely as a fuel for frustration and regret.
Another realisation is that i cannot directly change other people- i can only decide how i will act. So irritation directed at others is futile.
So after i got past the "being irritated" phase, following the match. I started asking God "Why did this happen? What are you trying to tell me? What would you like me to learn from this?" (I literally did this on the street, walking home- people were staring at me).
A long time ago my mom gave me a piece of paper. I stuck that paper onto my wardrobe because it made so much sense. It says
"IF LIFE IS A GAME, THESE ARE THE RULES
You will be presented with lessons
There are no mistakes, just lessons
Lessons are repeated until they are learned
Learning does not end
'There' is no better than 'here'
Others are only mirrors of you
What you make of your life is up to you
All the answers lie inside you"
by Dr. Cherie Scott Carter
Now to be honest i haven't yet completely sussed out the last half- but i think i understand the first half.
Everything happens for a reason- and if we don't learn from our mistakes, they will continue to repeat themselves until we do learn.
Admittedly i'm not quite sure what i'm supposed to have taken away from losing today. But I was definitely less upset about it than i was last time i lost a match- i also got over the "being irritated" phase much faster. Does this mean that i am growing spiritually? Am i less attached to the pride and recogniton that comes with winning, -and the shame that accompanies losing? Hopefully
Anyway just ramblings from a thoughtful mind
